Perhaps no other segment of society has given us better one-liners than the world of sports. While I have only heard a small percentage of these quotes, here are 25 of my favorites:

1.  I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok. - Shaquille O'Neal

2. I don't know.  I never smoked AstroTurf. - Tug McGraw, when asked if he preferred grass or artificial turf

3. Just give me 25 guys on the last year of their contracts; I'll win a pennant every year.  - Sparky Anderson

4. What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.
- Harry Caray

5. On this team, we are all united in a common goal: to keep my job.- Lou Holtz

6. You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black. - Charles Barkley

7. You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you. - Yogi Berra

8. With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions. - Pete Rose

9. The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract. - Spider Lockhart

10. I always turn to the sports section first.  The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man's failures.  - Earl Warren

11. The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey. The old ballplayer cared about the name on the front. The new ballplayer cares about the name on the back. - Steve Garvey

12. If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? - Vince Lombardi

13. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. - Lee Trevino

14. All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

15. You win some, lose some, and wreck some. - Dale Earnhardt

16. Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

17. There's nothing wrong with the Little League World Series that locking out the adults couldn't cure.  - Mike Penner, Los Angeles Times

18. A successful coach needs a patient wife, loyal dog, and great quarterback - and not necessarily in that order. -- Bud Grant

19. I'd rather be a football coach. That way you can lose only 11 games a season. I lost 11 games in December alone! - -- Abe Lemons, former head basketball coach at the University of Texas

20. If you screw things up in tennis, it's 15-love.  If you screw up in boxing, it's you're a$$.  - Randall "Tex" Cobb

21. The trouble with referees is that they just don't care which side wins.  - Tom Canterbury

22. Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

23. When we played, World Series checks meant something.  Now all they do is screw up your taxes.  - Don Drysdale

24. If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you're going to have problems.  You'll be dead a lot.  - Dean Smith

25. Finish last in your league and they call you Idiot.  Finish last in medical school and they call you Doctor.  - Abe Lemons

If you know of a good one that is not on this list, please share it with us.